Kzine Issue 5 Read online

  Kyle was looking at the screen of his cellphone as Arlene climbed onto the porch. Arlene frowned. If he spent less on frivolities like a cellphone he might have the money to pay his bills.

  ‘Wow, I’m glad you got home. I was starting to worry I’d driven out here for nothing.’

  ‘Goodness, it’s only ten past. Even an old lady like me is entitled to lose track of time once in a while.’ Arlene opened the door and stepped inside.

  ‘Sorry, I’m cutting it close. I’ve got an interview at one back downtown, and I’ll have to get this check deposited before I go there.’

  ‘Why didn’t you say so? Oh, but you’re not going to go like that!’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘In those raggedy clothes! That’s no way to get any sort of real job. Do you need a sport coat and new pants? If you do, I can make the check bigger. You ought to be able to pick something up at Dillard’s if you hurry.’ She opened her purse and retrieved her checkbook.

  Kyle laughed. ‘Grandma, it’s not that kind of interview. A girl from the Vanderbilt college paper wanted to write something up on my one-act that was performed last weekend. She wanted to, you know, get a sense of what the ‘man behind the play’ was like.’

  Arlene’s stomach lurched as fresh disappointment flooded through her.

  ‘So, I think I’m dressed just fine for my interview.’ His laughter had faded into a small smirk.

  ‘I guess you think you’re pretty funny.’

  ‘Aw, I didn’t even think about it. She’s interviewing me for the paper - it’s an interview. I didn’t realize you’d take it that I was going to try to get some job at Louisiana-Pacific or some stuffy place like that.’

  She set her teeth and didn’t answer. She started to write the check. ‘Ninety-six?’

  ‘Yes, Grandma.’

  She tore it from the checkbook and made an entry in her ledger. ‘You might still think it’s funny, but my offer stands. If you do need some nice clothes for job interviews, I’ll be happy to buy them for you.’

  He glanced at the check as she was speaking. ‘Sure. I’ll keep that in mind.’

  ‘I wasn’t finished, Kyle. I’ll see about taking you shopping, once you realize it’s time to grow up. But understand me, that check you’re holding is the last money you’ll get from me until that day.’

  ‘Still no word from your grandson?’

  ‘Nothing. And I haven’t tried calling him again. He knows where I live if he wants to talk with me.’

  Jeffrey opened the door to exit the coffee shop and held it for Arlene. The hot, moist air of late June struck her as she stepped outside. She was grateful that they had been able to park nearby and even more grateful when the air conditioning in his car began to cool the air.

  ‘Well, I can’t say that I blame you. I’d be mighty upset if one of my grandchildren stopped talking to me. But it’s a shame that this has come between the two of you.’

  ‘Maybe so. But it seems to me that he’d have been more understanding if he cared more about me as his grandmother than as a source of income.’

  Jeffrey let her statement go without answer. For a couple of minutes, they rode in silence.

  ‘I’m going to drive out and visit Lisa and her husband and the grandchildren for the Fourth. If you’d like to come along, I’m sure you’d be welcome. It might be more fun than sitting at home alone.’

  ‘Oh, I can’t stand fireworks. I appreciate the offer, but I think I’d rather just stay home. I’ll find something to watch on TV.’

  ‘Think it over. It’s still a couple of weeks off.’

  They were stopped at a red light. Arlene looked out the window and watched the human traffic on the sidewalk. A teenage girl was riding a skateboard, dodging the slower pedestrians. White strings dangled from the earbud headphones in her ears. If Arlene hadn’t already noticed her, she might not have even been aware of what came next. A man in a suit had stopped to answer his phone. The skateboarder took advantage of the lowered curb by the crosswalk to pass him. At the same time, the traffic light turned green and Jeffrey started to accelerate. Arlene gasped as the Buick rolled towards the girl, who jerked her body sideways to change direction. Arlene saw her angry face, inches from the window, as the Buick passed her.

  ‘Alright?’ Jeffrey asked her.

  ‘I was sure we were going to hit that girl.’

  ‘What girl?’

  ‘The one on the skateboard back there. You didn’t see her?’

  ‘No. So I guess it wasn’t that close a call, right?’

  She didn’t want to argue. Besides, maybe she was the one who misread the situation. It had been many years since she’d last driven. They got onto the freeway without incident and rode without further conversation.

  Jeffrey broke the silence. ‘I really don’t think I came close to hitting anyone.’

  ‘Oh, don’t worry about it. No harm done. I probably overreacted.’

  ‘Maybe so. I’m glad I don’t have to renew my license for a few more years, though. These eyes aren’t getting any fresher, but I don’t want to give up being able to go where I want to.’

  ‘Didn’t I tell you not to worry about it? I wouldn’t let you drive me if I wasn’t comfortable.’ She knew this wasn’t entirely true. There were times that his driving felt a bit erratic, but it was better than not being able to get out and go. Jeffrey seemed cheered by her confidence. The rest of the way to her home, he tried to convince her that she should go with him to Henderson to celebrate Independence Day.

  She’d tried to go to bed early, turning in just after nine. It wasn’t early enough. Before she could fall asleep she heard firecrackers going off next door. For a while Arlene tried to ignore the noise, but she could hear more nearby cracks and booms as darkness fell. She gave up on sleep. At first, she sat up in bed and tried to get into the novel she’d been reading a bit at a time. Her mind and her eyes were bleary. When she realized she’d read the same paragraph three times, she set the book back down.

  Outside her window, a loud sizzling noise was followed by a pop. Arlene grumbled and stood up. She went into the kitchen and got a small snack which she ate while watching the last few minutes of one show. Up next was a sitcom that she hadn’t liked when it was on originally and didn’t think had gotten better with age. She flipped channels but nothing else caught her attention. She wanted to go to sleep, but still she heard occasional explosions, mostly in the distance. A quiet moment passed and then she heard music.

  She turned off the television and went to her window. The neighbors were having a party. With the fireworks spent, they had returned to the pool. A portable radio was playing loudly. Luke and a couple of other kids were running around, waving sparklers wildly and yelling.

  Arlene’s rage at the scene was sudden and fierce. The lack of consideration they showed with the late-night noise, the lack of attention they showed to their children — it was too much for her. For a moment she had the thought that it was a deliberate attempt to shove her own age and infirmity in her face. Look what it’s like to be young and free. Her face grew hot and she realized her heart was racing.

  She had to step away from the window. Arlene took the plate she’d used for her snack into the kitchen, washed it, and set it up to dry in the dish rack. The dish towels and hand towels went into the laundry chute. She pulled replacements out of their drawer and neatly put them in their place. She was cleaning the sink’s handles and faucet when the phone rang, startling her, and making her drop the cleaning rag on the floor.

  She picked the phone up on the fourth ring, just before it would have transferred to voicemail.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Grandma, it’s Kyle.’ She heard loud music in the background on the other end of the line.

  ‘I thought you’d forgotten you had a grandmother.’

  ‘OK, I’m sorry. I guess I was mad. I shouldn’t have ignored your calls, though.’

  ‘Awful late for you to be calling now.’

 
‘I said I was sorry.’

  She hated when he whined.

  ‘I meant late at night, Kyle. Good grief, don’t you realize it’s after eleven?’

  ‘I’m sorry. I really am.’

  ‘What do you need?’

  ‘Can’t a grandson call his grandmother just to say hello?’

  ‘I suppose so. Not that I have any experience with that.’

  There was a pause, then he spoke in a rush. ‘I know what you told me the last time we talked. And I wouldn’t be calling you if it wasn’t real urgent. But I’m behind on the rent and I’ve got to catch it up by the sixth or the landlord’s going to evict me. I wouldn’t be calling you if I wasn’t desperate.’

  ‘It’s nice to know that you enjoy talking with me so much.’

  ‘I didn’t mean it like that. I meant …’

  Arlene interrupted him. ‘I expected a call like this. I thought you’d want to see if I really meant what I said. I certainly did.’

  ‘Grandma!’

  ‘No. Maybe this is just the lesson you need. You’ll have to swallow what little pride you have and find someone to take you in. After that, you’ll realize that you can’t keep drifting through life doing whatever the hell you feel like doing. And when you do realize that, and are ready to be a man, you let me know. I’ll do what I said. I’ll help you get nice clothes to go out looking for work. But that’s all.’

  ‘Look, I’m sorry. Maybe I’ll go out next month, after the show closes. I can look for something then, at least something temporary.’

  ‘Goodbye, Kyle.’ Arlene pressed the button to hang up the phone, and went off to bed.

  She didn’t sleep well that night. Her dreams were dark and confusing. When she awoke, Arlene couldn’t recall any details of them but she still felt uneasy. She made breakfast and sat down to read the morning paper. Each sip of instant coffee tasted worse than the one before. Her eggs were rubbery and unappealing. She dumped an entire egg down the disposal, chasing it with most of her cup of coffee.

  She sat on the porch for a while, stewing as she watched Luke cruising down the road alone. The sun quickly warmed the air, chasing her inside. When the phone rang, she felt that any conversation - even with her grandson - would be welcome.

  Jeffrey’s voice over the phone thrilled her in a way she didn’t remember feeling for years. ‘I’m back from my daughter’s place a few hours early. I thought you might like to ride over to Lebanon and window shop at the outlet mall.’

  ‘I’m so glad you called. That sounds wonderful! I’ve been going stir crazy in here this morning.’

  ‘Let’s see, I’ve got to run by the bank and the post office before we go. How about if I pick you up around two?’

  Arlene agreed. Her dark mood lifted and she puttered around the house until he came to pick her up.

  They had fun shopping and stayed in Lebanon later than they planned. The setting sun glared in their eyes as they merged onto I-40, heading back towards Nashville. When Jeffrey pulled the Buick off the freeway near Arlene’s home, it was nearly dark.

  He pulled into her drive. ‘Want to go get coffee tomorrow?’

  She pretended to look in her purse. ‘Well, let me check my date book.’

  They laughed.

  ‘Thanks for the ride, Jeffrey. I really needed to get out today.’

  ‘Any time.’

  She let herself in and waved from the doorway. She’d had too much tea with dinner, so she hastily went inside and locked up.

  Fifteen minutes later, she had started to watch a movie on TV when her phone rang. Jeffrey was on the other end of the line.

  ‘Is everything alright?’

  ‘Oh, sure. I got home just fine. I did want to tell you that you ought to check your driveway when you get a minute. I felt something when I was backing up. It might’ve been a dog or something. I probably should have stopped, but it was so dark…’

  The sick feeling which had visited her that morning returned. ‘You did the right thing. No sense you falling down and getting hurt when it was probably just a bump in the drive.’

  ‘Well, I got to feeling bad. If I did hit some poor critter and it was lying there, wounded, I didn’t want to not say something.’

  ‘I’ll get the flashlight and give it a quick look. Don’t worry about it. OK?’

  He said it would be and they hung up. Arlene got the flashlight she kept for when the power went out, checked that it turned on, and went outside.

  Even with the sun down, the night air was moist and hot. Taking care not to lose her footing, she walked down the gravel driveway, moving the light’s beam side to side. Her mind was still registering the glimpse of sneakered feet shown by one sweep of the light when another revealed a small, wounded face. Her legs came close to buckling and a horrible burst of nausea rose inside Arlene.

  She lowered herself to the ground, but it was obvious the boy was dead. His eyes were vacant, his chest still. The evening seemed to be completely silent. Arlene thought of Jeffrey and what this would do to him. She knew he’d be devastated if he found out. It occurred to her that their trip to Lebanon might be the last time they ever got to just get up and go. No one would send an old man to jail when it was so obviously the fault of the boy’s parents for letting him be out alone at night. But they would take his license, wouldn’t they?

  The neighbors’ house was dimly lit. The blue flicker of a television dominated the window on its face. No one was outside. The plan came to her fully formed, and she was moving before she could have second thoughts.

  She’d have to get the boy away from the road. The best Arlene could manage was to drag him a couple dozen yards up the driveway. When she came to a particularly dark patch, some trees blocking what little light there was, she stopped and left him where he lay.

  Arlene went inside and took a moment to catch her breath. She had to be certain that her voice would be sure and strong. The phone number she needed was in her address book. She dialed and prayed it would be answered.

  ‘Yeah?’ Traffic noise in the background.

  ‘Kyle, it’s your grandma. I think I’ve made a terrible mistake.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘I wanted to teach you a lesson. But maybe I went too far. Have you gotten things straightened out with your landlord?’

  ‘Not yet.’

  ‘Fine. Come out here. I’ll get you the check you need.’

  ‘Really? Thank you, grandma! I had no idea what to do once you said no yesterday. I’ll come out first thing in the morning.’

  ‘No!’ Her voice was too strident. She took a breath, forced her next words to be calmer. ‘You need to come out now so we can take care of this tonight.’

  ‘This late?’

  ‘Yes, this late. I don’t know, I just have had this feeling all day. I barely slept last night. I want to know that you have what you need.’

  ‘Well, OK, if it’s that important to you.’

  She knew it would be at least a half an hour before Kyle arrived. After they were done on the phone, she executed a slow pace around the house, from here to there, occasionally doing a bit of cleaning up. Waiting, listening, hoping that something wouldn’t go awry.

  Arlene kept one eye on the clock and when she could wait no longer, positioned herself by the window to watch for her grandson’s approach. A scintilla of doubt crept into her mind, but the sight of headlights turning off the main road quashed it. Why should she have to give anything up? This was an opportunity to take a tragedy and make something good out of it. She just had to stick to her plan.

  The car’s headlights lurched as it came up the drive. As long as he didn’t see. Please don’t let him see.

  The car came to a sudden stop, just past the darkest part of the drive. Arlene stepped outside at the same time that the car’s door flew open and Kyle jumped out.

  ‘Oh my God!’ Kyle moaned.

  He looked up, his face ashen. He glanced around, saw Arlene walking towards him. ‘Grandma, oh my God. Come quick!�
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  She walked as quickly as she could manage. She couldn’t have him carrying on like this. He knelt down beside Luke’s body and examined the boy with a small flashlight on his keychain.

  ‘What have you done?’ She was quiet, but put as much derision into the words as she could muster, pouring all of her resentment of his choices from the last decade into this one sentence.

  He looked up, his face wild. ‘Grandma, I didn’t see him, I swear. Oh God, I don’t think he’s breathing.’

  ‘So it’s come to this. You’ve been throwing your life away a piece at a time all these years. This is the end of the line.’

  Kyle leaned over the body again, touching it randomly, feeling for any sign of life.

  ‘Stand up and look at me.’

  He obeyed. She stared into his eyes.

  ‘You’re drunk.’ He shook his head but didn’t answer the charge. ‘You didn’t learn anything from getting arrested before. You could have told me you’d been drinking and that you had to wait. You could have had a friend drive you.’

  ‘Only one, two beers. That’s all.’

  ‘Who will believe that? You’ve got no job to speak of, a criminal record. You’re pathetic. A child-killer.’

  His eyes went blank. Arlene felt as if she could see the thoughts running through his head - time behind bars, a future with even less promise than his past. He looked around into the night. Sweat beaded on his forehead.

  Kyle reached into his pocket, pulled out his cellphone. Arlene waited until he was sliding it open before she spoke.

  ‘Turning yourself in?’

  He looked at her, nodded.

  ‘Wait.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I want to think about this.’

  ‘What’s there to think about? You said it yourself. I’m finished!’

  She pretended to be thinking and looking at the scene. All the while, she kept a close watch on the hand holding Kyle’s phone.

  ‘No. Not my family. Give me the phone.’

  He hesitated.

  ‘Now, Kyle. Give me the phone.’